I hate....

This two days, we have a happy day:) We talk to each others, we msg with each other. But until today, I ruined everything:( I hate myself so much:( If I can choose, I choose not to talk to him anything but just help him to overcome everything:( I hate myself... I am sorry because I made you upset. I hope you can forgive me and don't angry at me... You know I need you:( I need you :( I almost want to cry le... I am really very sorry... I know you don't have feelings towards me again... I don't want to force you, but I really hope I will always have a position in your heart not only as a best friend but as a girlfriend. Maybe I rush anything and made you felt annoying... I really don't want to lose to that girl again... I hope you understand everything ... Anyway I am sorry:(