Tonight was a surprise birthday party for Chea Arn:) I went home around 8:00... Supposed we will go to sing karaoke at Season... But because of the transport problem so I went home early... On the way going home, everything flows out of my mind... All our memories just suddenly flow out...
From the night we break up, I know everything will be different. The way you treat me will be different. The feeling you towards me will be different...From the night we break up, I know that there'll be a reason that make us break up. Just you try to avoid the reason. I keep on calling you, keep on sms you, keep on asking you, all because I want to know the truth. Until that night, you told me ' I lost all the feelings'. From that moment, I know that I should wake up from the dream and stand up and continue my life's journey.
But I try to find excuse for myself that one day we will get back together. Because of that excuse, everyday I keep on waiting for your msg, waiting for your call because I believe that I am still your admire girl. I thought you really lost the feelings and you are trying your best to find it. But until that day you told me you have feelings towards other girl. I am really down. I almost get shocked. I thought you love me forever and ever. And that's just a thought for a little girl.
You know how difficult for me to accept the truth. The tears dropped, the heart with blood, and I can't describe the pain in words but you will never know about it. You will only be happy because you found another her but you leave me. You always said that I leave you, but I leave you will always come back for you, but this time, you leave me you never come back for me again.
I try to be happy in front of my parents bacause I don't want them to be worry. I couldn't eat many because I don't have appetite. When that moment I know that you have feelings towards her, I really want to know who is that her? She can replaced my position in your heart. Or she steal your heart away? I know everything is a past tense. Life should be moving on without you. My life should be great. Thank you because you let me learn that things will not going on like what I expected and people will not treat us like what we expect.
I will forget you totally but i need time to rest. My heart need rest. But I think you totally forgot me and its ok. Life will always be unfair. From the moment, I decided to clear everthing, I already know that this path would be a difficult path. Thank you my friends and my advisor, Matthew. Especially Thank God:) You're the greatest God that I ever had from the past till the future:)
After this blog,
No more tears
No more pain
My Life will be great in the future
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
After this
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1 comment:
Be though girl. Your journey that you walk is just a beginning. So, when u down, look on God. HE the one never forsake u. Well, when we in love, we never felt the pain after all, all is sweet but after sweet is pain, dear. So, be though. I do think this is your first time of all. Is a really hard but believe me, there is still a lot of good guy. Maybe this is not ur time yet.. Look at God..
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