I hate....

This two days, we have a happy day:) We talk to each others, we msg with each other. But until today, I ruined everything:( I hate myself so much:( If I can choose, I choose not to talk to him anything but just help him to overcome everything:( I hate myself... I am sorry because I made you upset. I hope you can forgive me and don't angry at me... You know I need you:( I need you :( I almost want to cry le... I am really very sorry... I know you don't have feelings towards me again... I don't want to force you, but I really hope I will always have a position in your heart not only as a best friend but as a girlfriend. Maybe I rush anything and made you felt annoying... I really don't want to lose to that girl again... I hope you understand everything ... Anyway I am sorry:(

After this

Tonight was a surprise birthday party for Chea Arn:) I went home around 8:00... Supposed we will go to sing karaoke at Season... But because of the transport problem so I went home early... On the way going home, everything flows out of my mind... All our memories just suddenly flow out...

From the night we break up, I know everything will be different. The way you treat me will be different. The feeling you towards me will be different...From the night we break up, I know that there'll be a reason that make us break up. Just you try to avoid the reason. I keep on calling you, keep on sms you, keep on asking you, all because I want to know the truth. Until that night, you told me ' I lost all the feelings'. From that moment, I know that I should wake up from the dream and stand up and continue my life's journey.

But I try to find excuse for myself that one day we will get back together. Because of that excuse, everyday I keep on waiting for your msg, waiting for your call because I believe that I am still your admire girl. I thought you really lost the feelings and you are trying your best to find it. But until that day you told me you have feelings towards other girl. I am really down. I almost get shocked. I thought you love me forever and ever. And that's just a thought for a little girl.

You know how difficult for me to accept the truth. The tears dropped, the heart with blood, and I can't describe the pain in words but you will never know about it. You will only be happy because you found another her but you leave me. You always said that I leave you, but I leave you will always come back for you, but this time, you leave me you never come back for me again.

I try to be happy in front of my parents bacause I don't want them to be worry. I couldn't eat many because I don't have appetite. When that moment I know that you have feelings towards her, I really want to know who is that her? She can replaced my position in your heart. Or she steal your heart away? I know everything is a past tense. Life should be moving on without you. My life should be great. Thank you because you let me learn that things will not going on like what I expected and people will not treat us like what we expect.

I will forget you totally but i need time to rest. My heart need rest. But I think you totally forgot me and its ok. Life will always be unfair. From the moment, I decided to clear everthing, I already know that this path would be a difficult path. Thank you my friends and my advisor, Matthew. Especially Thank God:) You're the greatest God that I ever had from the past till the future:)

After this blog,

No more tears
No more pain



My Life will be great in the future

Forget the past, Aim the future:)

For you: I don't have all the feeling towards you again... I decided to forget you totally... We will never have chance to get back again... Everything should start again... You have your own new life and i will have my own new life too... My life will be better without you:) I will not bother about you again and again... We're friends...

Now I should study hard for my SPM:) and do whatever I want to do:) God will lead me and God love me so much:) I love God so much:) Yeah Yeah:)

Everything goes back to normal...

For 9 and the half months, I am very happy because I be with you:) Without you, Wei Li will never be Wei Li again. But since we both decided to break up now, then we should totally let go... But we are still best friends? That night, you said we will still be best friends... You said you still love me:) And I totally trust you:) Because of all our promises:) I will fullfill all my promise to you:) And I hope you will fullfill your promise too:) We will study hard and work hard for our future:) I will never forget you:) I am still waiting you:) My love to you will never decrease and only keep on increasing:) We will get back together soon rite? This is what you said:) I will always remember:) When I am not be by your side, please take care yourself and mickey is companying you:) Just want to tell you... I love you:)